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Directions: Apply LANHAM’S PARAMEDIC METHOD to each of the following ten sentences. Do your best to trim the fat and provide strong active verbs as you revise each sentence.
- In light of the pervasive problem of overcrowding at UC-Lone Pine, providing another coffee house on campus would offer the university’s growing population some kind of compensatory convenience. (28 words)
- Hypertext was invented to facilitate the process of navigating through a presentation of a collection of interrelated topics. (18 words)
- After reviewing the research and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the conclusions, we feel that there is definite need for some additional research to more specifically pinpoint our advertising and marketing strategies. (38 words)
- The role of markets is easily observed and understood when dealing with a simple commodity such as potatoes. (18 words)
- The trend in industry is toward self-manufacture by some companies of their own cans, and packing technology is changing packaging requirements so as not to require the typical heavy metal can. (32 words)
- The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money.
- It is widely known that the engineers at Sandia Labs have become active participants in the Search and Rescue operations in most years.
- After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures.
- The decision by the managers was that the committee for road improvement would cease its activity for the duration of the term.
- From the beginning, the writing of this research article was marked by reluctance.
