This is a proposal I would like for you to proofread and edit for me please. Below is the comment made by my professor. 

Thank you for sharing your draft with me! You are on the track with the proposal with some great thoughts and designs. To finalize it, you can further synthesize the contents. For instance, you don’t need to mention where you’d seek funding as usually a proposal is meant to be submitted to a funding agency.

There is a PowerPoint presentation of this proposal – basically selling your product. 

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