1)   This is Jaclyn’s essay draft 

 

The Issues That Are Faced with Cerebral Palsy

 

            Cerebral Palsy is a condition in which the body’s coordination, movement, and muscles do not function properly. Cerebral Palsy results from trauma to the fetus during birth or immediately after birth. Occasionally, trauma to a toddler’s brain can cause Cerebral Palsy. Lack of oxygen and/or blood supply are a few examples in which Cerebral Palsy will be the result. Many people who have this condition are wheelchair bound for life. Some people can walk if they have assistive devices to help them ambulate. It’s very rare to see a person with Cerebral Palsy walking, but with physical therapy, walking can be achieved.

            Often, people with Cerebral Palsy don’t receive the proper healthcare they deserve. In an article by Columbia Medicine Magazine, a woman spoke out about her experience as an adult with Cerebral Palsy. She talked about how because Cerebral Palsy is a pediatric disorder, physicians don’t understand how to care for the patients when they are older. The woman’s name is Shoshana Kohr. When she was almost thirty, she started to experience hip pain. Doctors weren’t willing to help her. She stated in the article, “It was frustrating. You come in with a problem and expect to find a doctor to either help you or refer you to someone who can help.” (Columbia Medicine) The article continues to talk about how Kohr found the Cerebral Palsy Center at Columbia where she was finally able to have a doctor who cared about her needs. I can’t believe that physicians didn’t know how to care for Kohr because of her disability. Cerebral Palsy is a very common disability. I was astonished to read that educated doctors didn’t know how to approach her situation. I figured that every family doctor would know about different disabilities. I am glad that Kohr finally got the treatment she needed. Kohr is an inspiration because she doesn’t let her disability get in the way of anything. She is a teacher and is able to walk.

            I found another article from Columbia Weinberg Family Cerebral Palsy Center. The center is perfect for all Cerebral Palsy patients. Many Cerebral Palsy patients who just go to their primary care doctor do not receive the proper care it takes for this disability. These patients need doctors who specialize in all different issues that are related to Cerebral Palsy.

           

 

 

 

References

 

Cmm_admin. (2013, May 10). For Forgotten Adults with Cerebral Palsy, a Center of Their Own. Columbia Medicine Magazine. http://columbiamedicinemagazine.org/clinical-advances/spring-2013/forgotten-adults-cerebral-palsy-center-their-own.

Columbia. (2021, May 17). Transitional Age and Adult Care. Weinberg Family Cerebral Palsy Center. https://www.weinberg.cuimc.columbia.edu/patient-care/our-services/transitional-age-and-adult-care.

Mudge, S., Rosie, J., Stott, S., Taylor, D., Signal, N., & McPherson, K. (2016, October 13). Ageing with cerebral palsy; what are the health experiences of adults with cerebral palsy? A qualitative study. BMJ open. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5073482/.

Patel, D. R., Neelakantan, M., Pandher, K., & Merrick, J. (2020, February). Cerebral palsy in children: A clinical overview. Translational pediatrics. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7082248/.

World Health Organization. (2020, December 1). Disability and health. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/disability-and-health.

Special Books by Special Kids. (2019). Might Miss Maya (Living with Cerebral Palsy). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCRIdR7HG1w.

 

2)  This is the instructions to do the peer review. Please read jaclyn essay draft and follow the instructions to complete the peer review.

 

INSTRUCTIONS: The purpose of peer review is not to heap praise or criticism on a writer. Instead, peer review helps guide writers to find their paper’s full potential. Good answers to peer review questions do not just say yes/no, “it’s good” or “it’s bad;” they provide specific details to help the writer know what they’re doing well and where their skills aren’t quite showing through yet. Keep in mind that this is a short draft, so the writer may have only started some of the following tasks; in that case, your job will be to recognize whether or not the writer has begun these tasks. 

 

As you read the essay you are assigned, use the following questions to help the writer develop their next draft. Copy and paste these questions into a reply to their essay and fill it in with your answers. 

 

MAIN CONTENT

 

What problem with regard to disability does the essay explore? Is this clear by the end of the introduction, or do you have to read further into the essay to figure it out? 

 

What argument does the essay propose with regard to this problem? Is this clear by the end of the introduction, or do you have to read further into the essay to figure it out? 

 

What ideas or evidence does the essay present to support its argument? Summarize them. 

 

Does the essay reflect a social approach to disability? If so, how? 

 

Does the essay avoid approaching disability as something to be pitied or, conversely, something inspirational? If not, identify where the essay ventures into these treatments of disability. 

 

Does the essay make any problematic assumptions or generalizations? For instance, do you see any instances of “Most people…” “[X] has increased” and the like that don’t cite a source proving that claim? Similarly, do you see any mistakes or information that is, to your knowledge inaccurate? 

 

Does the essay support its claims with sources? Do you see any claims that need a source to be academically appropriate? 

 

Does the essay demonstrate a good understanding of the sourced information? In other words, does the author explain why this sourced information is important, what it means, what it tells us about the topic, etc., or do they leave it to the reader to interpret that information? 

 

Ultimately, does the essay draft present a clear, logical argument? (Remember, you are not being asked if you agree or disagree with the answer/argument, only if the writer has supported it well.) Explain your answer. 

 

ORGANIZATION 

 

Is the essay’s organizational structure effective? Does it flow smoothly or does information appear to be placed at random? Does the discussion progress well or is information needlessly repeated? Do you feel that the author gives you the right information in the right order, or are there points of the essay where you feel confused? Instead of writing yes/no to these questions, write a complete paragraph describing what the essay does or does not do in response to these questions. 

 

WRITING 

 

Evaluate the author’s writing style. Is it clear? Engaging? Creative? If so, what makes it that way? If not, what might the author do in their next revision? 

 

Does the draft contain noticeable sentence errors that can make their writing less clear? (If the author has creatively used fragments, say so here but clarify that these do not appear to be errors.) 

 

Are there noticeable typos or other errors that make the essay hard to understand at times? If so, provide an example or two. 

 

CITATION

 

Does the draft include in-text citations in APA style? If not, what can the writer do to improve their documentation of their sources? 

 

Does the draft include full references in APA style at the end? If not, what can the writer do to improve their documentation of their sources? 

 

Are all sources represented in the essay through in-text citations also cited fully in the references at the end of the essay? 

 

Are all the sources in the references at the end of the essay clearly represented in the in-text citations? 

 

OVERALL: 

 

Identify the paper’s strongest points and explain why they are strong: 

 

Identify any points in need of most improvement and explain why they need improving:

 

Write a short note to the author that reflects your thoughts on the whole paper.

 

NB: Please read jaclyn essay draft and follow the instructions to complete the peer review.

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Respond to Peers: Review several of your classmates’ posts and respond substantively to at least two of your peers by 11:59 p.m. on Day 7 of the week. You are encouraged to post your required replies earlier in the week to promote more meaningful interactive discourse.  Ask questions that might help to further your understanding of the discussion or take the discussion to a deeper level. Your responses must include commentary in which you give examples of the pros and cons/advantages and disadvantages of the applied behavioral science methods discussed by our classmates. State whether or not you believe the information your classmates discuss would be appropriate to present to the targeted audiences identified. Explain why, or why not.
Continue to monitor the discussion forum until 5:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time (MST) on Day 7 of the week and respond to anyone who replies to your initial post. In addition to responding to at least two of your classmates, you are required to respond to any questions your instructor asks you prior to 5:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time (MST) on Day 7.
#1 Charity Parker
12:45pmJan 11 at 12:45pm
Manage Discussion Entry
• Identify specific characteristics of your target audience.

My targeted audience is going to be military wives. My cousin Julie, is 24 years old, a mother of two, upset at times, happy at others, lives this life    Sometimes the road you travel as a military wife, has it’s ups but sometimes it has  it’s downs.
• Briefly define stress and give examples relevant to your target audience.
What is stress? Stress is the anxiety we may feel in tense situations.

Examples-
The constant moving that comes with being a military family. The packing, un packing. The adjustment to a new place. New friends, new neighbors, new schools for your kids.
The feeling of loneliness, when your husband has been deployed to the other side of the country, and you are hardly able to talk to him on the phone.
• Discuss at least two specific stressors relevant to your target audience’s primary concerns.

Relationships- keeping a positive relationship with your husband who may be miles away. Trying to stay connected to him. Relationships with new friends, and then moving and having those friends ripped away from you, being replaced be new.

Constantly changing locations- My cousin, Julie a military wife, may be in Texas one day, and be packing up to move to Germany later that year. She has adapted to this way of living, but not easily at times.

Worrying about stability for your children. Will they like their new school? Will they make new friends?

Wiill they be completely torn apart if we make this next move? Or should we stay, and try the life of the family away from their father awhile? The limited calls, the loneliness that comes with that? Missing their father, you missing your husband. The feeling of emptiness, feeling alone.

Military wives face many stressers.  When faced with deployment. There are choices, stay or move? If you choose to go with your husband.. or to ot make the next move, and stay back, for stability for your children . If you choose to they do that you may feel, You are basically raising your children on your own. Caring for them, feeling at times you are alone. These decisions you are faced with do not come easy at times.

• Describe healthy and unhealthy ways in which people may respond to the two stressors listed in #3 above.

Healthy ways- talking about the situation. Plugging into a good counselor, talking through feelings you may feel.
My cousin was able to find an awesome online support group, others experiencing the same thing that you are going through at times, help you come to realize you aren’t the only one going through this. And sometimes things seems unbareable, but somehow we always get through them.
Finding a hobby, keeping yourself busy. Taking time for yourself.
Unhealthy ways of dealing with this-
Keeping feelings bottled up. Not communicating about your feelings. Stress begins to consume you. You may hide it well, but it will catch up to you.

You may take out the anger on your children, or your spouse. Little things that do not have anything to even do with them, you may find yourself acting out your frustration on them.

• Select one specific skill a mental health professional might teach to help individuals cope effectively with stress.

Therapy- talking to a counselor. A counselor is”a professional relationship that empowers individuals families and groups to accomplish mental health Wellness education and career goals”( McCathy,DeLisa,Getsfeld,McCarthy,,Moss-King,Mosser, Privitera,Spence,Walker, Weinberg, Youssef-Morgan,2010, ch 2.1). They can help not only express your feelings, but they can help with setting goals.
Using Mindfulness – based stress Reduction can help with her stress. This technique has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety symptoms, regulate negative feelings and depression”( McCathy,DeLisa,Getsfeld,McCarthy,,Moss-King,Mosser, Privitera,Spence,Walker, Weinberg, Youssef-Morgan,2010, Ch. 4.3, par 21).
Finding a hobby- making time for yourself. Sometimes as a mother we get caught up in the role of being Mom. Sometimes a nurse, a teacher, a discipliner, The Cook, the housekeeper, even sometimes the referee. But it’s very important to remember who we are. What do you like to do for fun, or to help you relax? Always remember to make time for yourself, to reduce stress.

Communication with your husband every chance you get. Sometimes it really is the little things that count. One story for example my cousin I just got out of shower walks into her kitchen, to find a huge mess. Her at your all decided that he wanted to make treats for the family dog. Coming into the kitchen with flour everywhere, eggs cracked all over the floor.. the situation began to get her stressed. She was able to get the mess cleaned up, and realized what a story it would be for her husband who is Miles Away. It left a smile on his face for days if he talked about it with others.
• Define resilience and identify at least three factors associated with resilience.

Resilience is- being able to adapt to a situation.
Three factors –
Being strong-willed Embracing change,
Establishing goals,
Adapting.
• Identify at least three ways to build resilience.

Work on developing problem solving skills. Realize things do not always stay the same. we are not Superwoman, things sometimes will go wrong that we can not change.. but we can adapt.

Choose your outlook on things- is your glass half empty or half full?

Building positive beliefs- remembering why your husband enrolled and the military to start with. Remembering that You are not alone and others are going through the very same thing you are.

Learning to nurture yourself. Take the time to do things for yourself.
• Discuss the importance of flexibility in maintaining resilience.

In the life of a military family resilience is necessary. Life is constantly changing. You are moving, you may find yourself having to find new job after new job. You are adapting to Change all around. It is important to keep an open mind, and communication with those that we love. If we don’t , we find ourselves more stressed then necessary, and can shut down and distance relationships with those that we really love.

• List at least one online, print, video, and/or local resources in your community where participants may receive additional help in learning to effectively cope with life stressors and develop/enhance their resilience skills.

https://bluestarfam.org (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.

I found this online resource to be very helpful for a military wife. They provide free resources, and services for military families. You can get connected to other families going through the exact same things you are experiencing. Realizing you are not alone. You do not face these battles alone.

References:

Home

McCarthy, C. J., DeLisi, M., Getzfeld, A. R., McCarthy, C. J., Moss-King, D. A., Mossler, R., Privitera, G. J., Spence, C., Walker, J. D., Weinberg, R. S., & Youssef-Morgan, C. M. (2016). Introduction to applied behavioral science [Electronic version]. Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/

#2 Carrie Langston
3:12pmJan 11 at 3:12pm
Manage Discussion Entry
Identify specific characteristics of your target audience.
My targeted audience are moms returning to school. This includes single moms and married mothers.
Briefly define stress and give examples relevant to your target audience. Discuss at least two specific stressors relevant to your target audience’s primary concerns.
I would define stress as anything that disturbs your peace of mind or causes a change in your regular life activities. One way this can be stressful is if you are a woman trying to find balance. You still must cook, clean, and take care of your children and your husband. Moreover, you must keep up with your school work. Another way this may cause stress is trying to find childcare if you are attending college on campus.
Describe healthy and unhealthy ways in which people may respond to the two stressors listed in #3 above.
A healthy way to deal with this stress is to reach out to family and ask for help in this time. An unhealthy way of dealing with this is to use drugs or over using alcohol.
Select one specific skill a mental health professional might teach to help individuals cope effectively with stress.
One skill a mental health professional might teach to help with managing this stress is time management and coming up with a realistic game plan. Also, he or she may suggest that you find a a group of friends with the same situation append time doing something fun on the weekend, a hobby or something like it.
Define resilience and identify at least three factors associated with resilience.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back after something happens.
Identify at least three ways to build resilience.
Being open minded
Setting goals
Never giving up
Discuss the importance of flexibility in maintaining resilience.
It is important to be flexible because life is always changing and the better you can adapt the better your chances of having low stress is.
List at least one online, print, video, and/or local resources in your community where participants may receive additional help in learning to effectively cope with life stressors and develop/enhance their resilience skills.
You can find more information on how to deal with being a college student and a mother at the same time at the following website: http://college.usatoday.com/2012/07/18/young-mothers-balance-college-and-parenting/ (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.
Resources:
http://college.usatoday.com/2012/07/18/young-mothers-balance-college-and-parenting/ (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site.
Youssef-Morgan, C. M. (2016). Introduction to applied behavioral science [Electronic version]. Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/

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